January 1st, 2011- If Only I Knew

At 12:05 AM this first morning of the new year we lost our oldest daughter, Nicole Monique Taylor to a tragic car accident. She was only 27 years old and in the prime of her life. She worked for Alaska Airlines and was also attending Washington State University as a full time online student. She was a mother to our grandson Darius Ernie Jay Fields (7), She loved playing volleyball and taking he son to other sporting events. She had a beautiful heart and spirit.  As I sit here this evening and can barely muster the effort to type these words. I cannot believe that I’m never going to see my big girl again.

The only thing keeping me sane right now is the fact that I know that she is with the Lord and that the scripture says he will never leave us or forsake us.
RIP dearest Nicole, we love you and you will remain in our hearts and minds forever.

Dear friends, please hold, hug and kiss your loved ones everyday and every time they walk out that door.


If I knew it would be the last time that I’d see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time I’d hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time, I could spare an extra minute or two
to stop and say “I love you,” instead of assuming, you would know I do.

If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day,
well I’m sure you’ll have so many more, so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there’s always tomorrow to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance to make everything right.

There will always be another day to say our “I love you’s”,
And certainly there’s another chance to say our “Anything I can do’s?”

But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get,
I’d like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget,

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you’re waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes, you’ll surely regret the day…

That you didn’t take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone, what could be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today, whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them and that you’ll always hold them dear.

Take time to say “I’m sorry,” “please forgive me,” “thank you” or “it’s okay”.
And if tomorrow never comes, you’ll have no regrets about today.

Nothing is worse than the wonder, IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN!


33 thoughts on “January 1st, 2011- If Only I Knew

  1. Jay, I pray that God’s grace will keep you strong through this amazingly difficult time. There’s nothing we can say or do to make it better, just know that your friends are thinking of you and your family and we will be asking God to help heal the pain and ease your suffering. God bless your family!

  2. Lord our God, You are always faithful and quick to show mercy. Nicole was suddenly taken from us and her loving family. Come swiftly to her aid, have mercy on her, and comfort her family and friends by the power and protection of the Cross.
    We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

  3. Jay, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your beautiful daughter, but I firmly believe that she will always be with you in your hearts, and that she is safe wherever she is now. Thinking of you at this difficult time, and sending love and blessings your way.

  4. Wonderful photos to cherish. God grace is always with you. May he comfort you during this time of loss. My prayers are for your family. God bless you and your family

  5. Jay,
    I only know you through your work and my friend Jimmy Denham. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. May the Lord watch over, comfort, and bless you all.

  6. Oh Jay, this is such SAD news. Please accept my most sincere condolences. We met in Chicago back in May for the PDML exhibit, and if your daughter was made of the same stuff you are, she was a fine lady.

    Stay strong, Jay.

  7. Jay, Terrible news. I’m so sorry for your family and her son. May God give you all the extra strength to see you thru this. Bob S., PDML, Chicago

  8. Jay,
    The short time we have been with your family have always been full of joy and grace. Your precious daughter has been a delight and joy to experience. She was always a joy to be with. I was amazed at her drive to make the most of her life. Her hard work and love of life have been gifts from God. As you say, only God’s comfort, love and assurance of Eternal life sustains us thru these tragic times.

  9. Jay, please accept my heartfelt condolences and may G-d give you strength to raise your grandson a finest gentleman as yourself are.

    Boris, whom you met briefly in Chicago during PDML exhibition opening…

  10. Taylor Family,
    Thoughts & Prayers are with you all!! I’m going to miss you Nicole…but you will never be forgotten…

  11. I’m so sorry to hear of your terrible loss, an ordeal no parent should experience. My condolences to you and your family.

  12. Jay,
    I only know you through the PDML but reading this fills my heart with utter pain. I wish your family and yourself strength and faith to see each other through this. You are all in my prayers.

  13. I know you only from the postings about your daughter’s passing on the Pentax Discussion Mail List, but my heart goes out to you just the same. I am sorry at the loss of your beautiful daughter. You will be in my prayers.

  14. Sir,
    It was my privilege to work with your daughter Nicole as her academic partner. She was working on a bachelor’s degree in Social Sciences from Washington State University’s online degree program. I spoke with Nicole last week, and I am just gutted at this tragic news. Nicole was motivated, bright, and determined. It was an honor to serve as her advisor.
    Jaqueline Almdale
    WSU Online Degree Programs
    Pullman, WA USA

  15. Jay,

    You dont know me but I recently met your daughter playing volleyball, I instantly asked her to play on my women’s team (which didnt work out) because she was so skilled and sooo sweet. As a mother myself I can only imagine your grief, I am so sorry. As a believer I know that to be absent from the earth is to be present with God. My thoughts and prayers are with you.


  16. Jay,

    I am so deeply saddened by this news! We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers. Please give my condolences to your family.

  17. Jay,
    I work for Washington State Univeristy. We are trying to verify Nicole’s death so we can close her account, refund any monies and I am attempting to see if a posthumous awarding of her degree is possible.

    Please contact me at 800-222-4978 and leave a phone number if I don’t connect withyou directly so the WSU registrar’s and Admission office can get in touch with you.
    Jaqueline Almdale
    WSU Online Degree Programs

  18. I don’t know you or your daughter but I also lost my oldest child 6 years ago so I know the pain your feeling. I just wanted to let you know that God will give you the strength to go on. I won’t tell you it gets easier with time because I still cry and long for my son but with Gods help I still continue to move forward. I am praying for you and the rest of your family and asking God to give you the strength and encouragement. God bless

  19. Jay, Your loss was made known to me through the PDML. I have no words to ease the pain that must be in your heart right now, I only know that if I were in your shoes, I don’t think I would be capable of putting together such a beautiful tribute to my child. Your daughter looked to have such a warm, loving spirit and to be an adoring mother. My heart goes out to you and your family and particularly to little Darius. Tanya.

  20. Jay,

    I am so very sad to learn of you and your family’s loss. I thought of calling you, but knew my emotions would make it hard to speak. If I could do anything for you and your family, please let me know. My thoughts, wishes and condolences are with you and your family… I do not know what else to say… I am deeply sorry!

    -Kevin Bobson

  21. Dear Jay
    My heart is breaking for you and your family and I wanted to express my condolences. I wish you strength during this most difficult time.
    You’re in my thought and prayers.

  22. Thank each an every one of you for the love and support you have shown for Nicole and our family. Your prayers are especially treasured as they will most help to ease the pain of our loss. God bless you all.

    Jay, Sharon, Danielle and Darius

  23. I am so, so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I can’t begin to imagine what you’re going through. I’ll be praying for you and your family.


  24. You don’t know me but a friend from L.A. told me of your loss.

    Words are insufficient to express the sorrow I feel. My prayer for you and your family is you find what you need in this time and maybe even more importantly, in the future.

    May God drench you in peace.


  25. Jay and Sharon,
    There’s a lump in my throat and tears that I am suppressing, as I have just learned of the loss of Nicole. As the last Christmas season passed, there was an acknowledgement in our home that we didn’t see the Taylor’s photo card – and perhaps we now know why. I will pray for your continued strength, comfort and endurance. I asked myself, “How does anyone get through such a tragic loss”. I was greeted with the answer, “GOD”!

    May His peace overtake you,

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